Reality Bites
Episode #: 131
Airdate: April 25, 1997
TiVo Synopsis: J.T. and Rich squander the rent money, so Frank evicts them.

About the episode numbers: I'm geting them from TiVo. And guess what? Turns out they aren’t the numbers you should actually go by. Case in point: this episode directly follows “Independence Day” but this one was produced first, apparently. So ignore them, basically.



In this episode: Rich and JT are roommates! And they instantly act like assholes who don’t realize that their apartment is basically just another room of JT’s house. They blare generic-sounding rock music (I think it was the same song the kid was listening to on headphones sitting across from Charles Grodin on the train in “Clifford”) while Rich eats a tub of ice cream and JT eats an entire rotisserie chicken with his bare hands. Way to be the slobs of the century, why don’t you get on your bikes and go back to mars (Get it? Biker Mice From Mars? Because they look like rodents? Hello?).



They are gigantic assholes and they buy a satellite dish instead of pay their rent. It’s... nice? Not nice? I’m not sure what it is, but it’s a thing to see that satellite dish technology has more-or-less stayed the same since 1997. The dish and box they walk in with look about the same as one would look like today. Anyway, Frank kicks them out, locking them out during a rain storm. JT and Rich bang on the back door and moan about being wet (“I’m wet!!!” – JT) I don’t know why they didn’t just try to go around to the front door and ring the doorbell and simply ask to be let in? Accept their role as GUESTS to the house and approach their situation as such. Wow, now I know how dorks who moan about THE OFFICE being unrealistic feel.

Also, I’m shocked at the lack of respect Frank has for JT’s property. First, he throws all their stuff outside on a rainy night, so it all gets wet and probably ruined. If my dad did that to me on purpose, I wouldn’t be on speaking terms with him. I know JT is a dunderhead and probably doesn’t have anything TRULY valuable, but still... If I had a box full of my original Early Conan strips sitting out in the rain I’d fucking flip. Also Frank forces JT to sell some of his garbage to his brothers and sisters to make the cash for rent. Frank basically takes control and sells JT’s stuff for him. Maybe JT should have a LITTLE control over that? Like when Frank lets JT’s baseball card collection AND his guitar go for 20 bucks to the interminable BRENDON. That’s just cruel. JT moans that the collection was 15 years of hard work, and that it’s priceless. EVEN IF FRANK forced him to sell his baseball cards, JT probably could’ve found collector or a sports card shop to sell them to for much more money. MORE MONEY TO PAY FRANK FOR RENT.


Lilly Watch: Lilly actually has a good role in the B-plot: Jean-Luc spoils her by basically ruining Carol’s house, filling it with huge toys. At one point, he buys her a pony! They do not show you how they got rid of the pony, so maybe you can assume they still have it. After all, just because Lilly isn’t in every episode doesn’t mean she doesn’t exist.



Eventually it’s revealed that Jean-Luc is simply spoiling her because he misses his own daughter, whose birthday it is, and he can’t even see her as per the divorce settlement. This ends with Carol personally arranging it so his daughter can come and visit for the weekend. Dear god, it is the sappiest thing I ever saw. Just the fact that this little girl has a French accent makes it so weirdly manipulatively heart-wrenching and other-worldly for Step by Step. I want to grab Step by Step by the collar and just scream at it: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS??” She eventually falls into her proper role of being on a rude American sitcom as she and dad trade vulgar piss and fart jokes (“I could go Oui Oui all day long” “I’m passing my second wind”). Welcome to America, stinky.


Mark Watch: Mark shows up to buy JT’s TV, which luckily is on wheels just like the TV carts he wheels around at school on a regular basis.


Brendon Watch: Like I mentioned, he buys JT’s baseball cards. This was a set-up for the final episode; originally it was planned that in the finale that the family would finally decide to face the facts that Brendon is missing. They rummage around in his room, trying to look for anything that could help them find their lost boy. Frank leafs through the baseball cards, sighs, and tosses it aside after Carol calls him to dinner. The baseball card binder opens to the last page: Brendon has been sucked inside one of the baseball cards, and he is yelling for help. You can see one of his stats: SEASONS PLAYED: ETERNITY. We freeze frame on his screaming face while the studio audience applauds wildly.


The End: This is one of the few Step By Steps from this era that doesn't end with a fever dream: Dana is folding laundry with Rich in he and JT's apartment. Dana drops a pair of underpants, and Rich goes to return them. Frank asks him why he's holding women's underwear. There is a series of agonizing misunderstandings because it's a stupid sitcom, and eventually the cast just starts flipping off the cameras and mouthing "fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you" at the audience.

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