Tape Two

It’s time for another ten-hour tape of Adult Swim bullshit. Jesus Christ. Okay, so this one starts out with Home Movies Season 2, and not much else. So I get a little loopy from only having one show to review over and over and over and over and over and… 13 overs, is my point. So here is another insufferable encapsulation of Adult Swim shows, presented in chronological order.

A presentation note: I should make mention of what a great/terrible resource that Toonzone has been. In doing these write-ups I’ve been following Adult Swim’s chronology using Toonzone’s message board posts. This is how I’m getting airdate/time information and stuff. But boy oh boy, it’s one of the most infuriating message boards around. So a running thread in these reviews will be me complaining about what they have to say. Just know the only reason I remember anything about ANYTHING they say is because I just read it recently. Okay?

This is also the first installment where I will do SECOND-RUN SHOWCASE! Donny never actually recorded the rerun garbage Adult Swim got, so don’t worry, I’m not going to bore you with reviews of every episode of Baby Blues or Oblongs. But I’ll tell you a little bit about each show as they come up.

SYNOPSIS: Brendon runs for Class President and Coach McGuirk tries stand-up comedy.

The first non-squiggle episode of Home Movies! I don't think I properly judged this episode when it first aired because I was completely distracted by the non-squiggling. Shannon makes a big splash with his return as the brute crook of HOME MOVIES HIGH SCHOOL. This is a solid episode that I don't have much to say about because I watched the night previous to my writing this. I probably should've written down notes or something. But truth is I never had much to say about this episode ever, because I always associate it with the rocky start of season two and me getting thrown for a loop discovering that Michael J. Fox was no longer animating Home Movies.

Second-run Showcase!
Baby Blues #2: "Rodney Moves In" (January 6, 2002 - 10:30 PM)

SYNOPSIS: A married couple has a baby, and neighbors.

Baby Blues: the first official off-network acquisition on Adult Swim. aired for 13 consecutive weeks, mostly in production order (though the pilot "Christmas Special" episode kinda got thrown in there somewhere late in the run - I guess they thought they were gonna save it for Christmas 2002 but then decided against it.) and continued to run for a while after that. A year maybe? Faggots on Toonzone seem to believe there are 13 more episodes not being shown for some reason. From what I can tell, the show is actually made up of two six-episode orders that are counted as two seasons production-wise, but all the episodes were held back and shown as one season. Then there is also the Pilot episode, that Christmas episode I mentioned parenthetically where Zoey is actually born, bumping the grand total of episodes to 13. Toonzone idiots got confused when they heard the two-production season thing and thought these 13 episodes were from one production season, and that a full second season was made and never shown. They think this because they are idiots.

Baby Blues blew. Actually, that's probably not entirely accurate. It was probably "just okay." Actually, I can remember watching one episode when it was on WB, at a house of a girl I was in love with, so I remember it extra hard. I remember thinking it was not terrible, but I was probably cuddling at the time, so that probably changed my view. But it's completely wrong for Adult Swim. Maybe if they invented FAMILY SWIM and put it on before ADULT SWIM they could stick this and “Dilbert” and “God the Devil and Bob” on there. FAMILY SWIM! And it's got bumpers of families holding hands doing the backstroke in a pool, maybe a lady giving birth in a bathtub. Their hate mail would be better, because dad would proof read it before it got sent! Hey, my big idea, Family Swim, lets do it, I like my family!

SYNOPSIS: Brendon has to collect money for a walkathon, but winds up blowing it with McGuirk while on a fun-run to identify his dead relative.

If toonzone is any indication, people hated this episode. I don't understand it. You got Ron Lynch calling Brendan a little red school house as a derogatory term, you got the big picture (a dead uncle shows up and just RUINS McGurk's day), you got Andy Kindler (idiots don't care for him) just go-go-going! You got it all, basically. It's also got the crazy ending when Latka Graves shows up and begs for McGurk's sausage in his mouth (gross!).

I think this is just a great episode; people need to just take a break about it if they don't think so. Also this is the first episode where Walter and Perry are gay dudes for real, and that reminds me of this dude Clint I worked with when I first started working at Movies 10 in Redding (late 2002). I remember 3 things about him: 1. He was homophobic, even saying "I'm homophobic" very seriously to me (to his credit he did not slight others for not being homophobic like he was). 2. His favorite show was Home Movies. 3. He did an honest-to-god great impression of Walter and Perry, even picking up on the subtle differences in their voices. I don't know how all those things can co-exist, but they somehow did.

Captain Linger #6: "Trouble if it's Fair" (January 13, 2002 - 10:25ish PM)

Captain Linger what is wrong with you??! This time you ruined a baseball game, dam

SYNOPSIS: The kids decide to stop working with each other to recharge their creative batteries.

Home Movies is the only show about kids that can actually have decent parental sub-plots. The stuff with Paula and her boss is the main attraction in this episode. But when it comes to Brendon and his boys, I gotta say this: I like that the black dude in Duane's band doesn't smile in this episode. Duane has this smiley black dude in his band and his face drives me nuts. In this episode he doesn't smile not even once and I love it.

This episode also introduces Brendon's love interest that dumb cunt Cynthia that sucks. When I watch this with my staff of butlers (no maids) we all boo when she shows up. They have to do it, or else they don't get tipped on Boxing day.

SYNOPSIS: Jason invites Brendon to sleep over at his house and campaigns for a bigger role in Brendon's movie

Paula keeps being an alcoholic and Brendan and his friend quarrel for the spotlight. There's also some gross stuff about a dog taking dumps everywhere and a scene where old people childishly play in a house being constructed. It's one of those throw-away animation gags that happens a lot on Home Movies, but the more I think about it the more I love it. Old people acting like children and hugging banisters and jumping inside toilet holes! What a fun idea! Home Movies is probably the only show where they just let the animators do whatever, and it's obvious enough that even when something is lame, you can easily ignore it because of this fact. At least I can, anyway.

Captain Linger #7: "A New Flame in Town" (January 27, 2002)

In this episode we find out about Captain Lingers nephews, he has at least two. I will add their names to their character pages when we find them out. But if I were to make a bet, it would be Huey Dewy and Louie. Can we all agree on this, please?

SYNOPSIS: Brendon is asked by Fenton's mom to make a video for Fenton to be shown at his birthday party.

Woah this is a great episode *honk honk*! I think it's honestly really hard to do a party episode that doesn't personally make me roll my eyes. In life I basically hate parties a lot. If I’m there, I have an agenda of some sort to hang out with a specific person. They bring out the worst and most obnoxious in a lot of people, and most episodes or movies that heavily feature parties are basically a collection of cut-aways to CUH-RAZY things that are happening and usually in a comedy there's a casual acceptance of it by most or all the people there and that's what makes it "funny." And I hate when that happens, both in life and in fiction. It just seems like lazy, easy writing. A collection of cut-away-able vignettes that maybe includes a flustered party host showing up and getting mad is the easiest thing to write in the world. That's NOT what this episode is. This is basically a Home Movies episode that happens to have party going on in the background. And also it being a kid's party makes it way different. Different enough that I probably didn't have to bring all that comedy-writing theory into this write up. Sorry. My mind just went there. I had to let it out.

So this episode is mostly about Brendon having to make a tribute video about Fenton, who sucks. Brendon makes a rude video, but can't show it at the last minute because he doesn't want to hurt Fenton's MOM'S feelings, which is such a great conflict, because Fenton is a cock who deserves to have a rude video be shown at his birthday party. There is also some great stuff like Fenton's School Photo where he has a black eye, and Walter and Perry's big idea about living in a van together is such a pure childhood idea. McGurk tells Fenton to shut up, and this also features Brendon, Melissa, and Jason walking towards the sunset with that great music playing! I almost said the word "SWEET!" out loud, which I would never!

SYNOPSIS: Brendon tries to impress Cynthia by posing as Jason at his country club. Paula cheats on her placement exam at a temp agency.

I don't know why, but I get the feeling that I'm relatively alone in really liking this episode. Not that it's hated by other Home Movies fans, I just feel like I'm into it more than most. Maybe not the whole episode, but the final third of it is fantastic. I'm just a sucker for a parent and a kid both being in trouble at the same time. Remember when Michael gets arrested on “Arrested Development” and his son is already in the squad car, and he's like "so what did you do?" Man for some reason multi-generational fucking-up really gets me. Also there's the great ending where Brendon fucked everything up with that cunt Cynthia and he's fretting over it for fucking days. It's a great downtrodden type ending and it's really wonderful how effortlessly it portrays that idea of just being eaten up about relationship problems gone south over a long period of time. I didn’t appreciate this at the time.

Sorry for cussing so much in this, by the way.

SYNOPSIS: Brendon begins a relationship with his dad and his new fiance.

I remember everyone getting mad at the promo because it shows the dad! HEY IDIOTS WERE YOU EXPECTING A BIG SURPIRSE OR WHAT? IT’S A DUDE WITH RED HAIR LIKE BRENDON. Also I never made this connection: Linda (Brendon's dad's girlfriend) is basically Cynthia all grown-up! LIKE FATHER LIKE SON, RIIIIIGHT? Anyway this episode is good and bad! There's some fun stuff in it and some not fun stuff. There are rude scenes with a sick kid that are kinda gross but pretty tame in the grand scheme of comedy involving sick kids. I think it's about as nasty as Home Movies ever got. I guess they made it okay by having him smile through the whole thing. The episode kinda just peters out with an improvy conversation between McGurk and Addleberg talking about different kids he has at the Big Brothers foundation. It's funny stuff, but you kinda just wish they made the whole episode about Brendon and his dad and his cunty girlfriend and Brendon's drunk mom. I was about to say they should've made it more emotional, but the episode is basically about the dad kinda holding back on his emotions “Mad Men” style (I have never seen “Mad Men,” what am I referencing it for, it is ridiculous) so I guess that'd be silly.

Adult Swim Action (and other stuff) (February 23, 2002)

So, February 23 marked the first night of Adult Swim Action. That same week they took away the Thursday Night repeat of the Sunday block. Remember that? You missed everything on Sunday, but no sweat my pet! Thursday’s got your back! I guess they had to trade that in to make the all-anime night that happened on the 23rd. Again, Thank fucking god Donny didn’t like/tape anime.

Starting February 24, Adult Swim Comedy only ran from 10 PM to Midnight, but all it really was was an absence of Cowboy Bebop, so I guess it ain't so bad. But basically they simply aired Rocky and Bullwinkle and Popeye I think to fill that hour up. Certain idiots flipped because "THOSE AREN'T ADULT SHOWS." 1) Yes they are. 2) They aren't even properly part of Adult Swim, you doofuses. You gotta put SOMETHING there. Eventually they started repeating the night's Home Movies premiere at midnight, and then airing Popeye after that.

SYNOPSIS: Brendon, his dad, and his father's fiance attend family therapy. (Promo)

I think I remember people thinking this episode stinks? Possibly the audio commentary for the episode even said this? I think the first half is great, and the whole thing about how agonizing the therapy sessions are is wonderful to watch. But I don't know, the pay off isn't as good. Like the moment when everyone is basically agreeing that therapy sucks and that the therapist is a tool? That SHOULD be a great moment. But it's not that great. It's good, just not that great.

Welcome to Eltingville: "Bring Me the Head of Boba Fett" (February 25, 2002 - 4:00 AM)

SYNOPSIS: A bunch of dorks fight over a Boba Fett doll. I mean, action figure.

The Eltingville club were VERY sneaky and they snuck their way onto the airwaves at 4 AM on the night of February 25th (technically the 26th). I initially hated it because I for some reason was feeling hit over the head with humor revolving around "nerds.” I’m talking about all entertainment, not just in this special. I think this is when the whole idea of reclaiming "geek" as a COOL thing was really starting to take off, and I hated it. "Beat the Geeks" was on the air at the time I think. So anything that had to do with geeks I would be thrown into a tizzy over.

It took me a few viewings to appreciate this show, but it holds up. There is a dark quality to it. It's basically these four guys who have immersed themselves into their own obsessions to the point where they are losing their grips. I know, I know, grips are usually things you get, but imagine this: THESE ARE DUDES WHOSE GRIPS ARE THINGS TO LOSE. They NEED to get a grip, BUT CAN'T. This causes them to basically make the quality of life of everyone around them generally worse. That is my basic analysis of this show. I don't "get" the things they are into, but that's not the point of the show. THIS IS NOT A CELEBRATION. THIS IS AN UNCELEBRATION. I wish there were more episodes!

SYNOPSIS: Brendon takes advantage of a school field trip so he can shoot some movie scenes on location at a hotel. McGuirk uses Brendon's identity to pass a background check for a second job.

I am getting tired of all these mother fuckin' Home Movies episodes on this mother fuckin' plane! Hey just jokin! I like this show I like this episode! But it's kind of a thing that they had TWO episodes so close together about one character pretending to be another character. In this one McGurk calls himself Brendon Small to pass a background check so he can get a second job. In "Impressions" Brendon pretends to be Jason to get into the Country Club. Anyway, I like when Home Movies dudes are out and about getting fresh air, I don't know I just like it! Anyway I watched this last night intending to write something up on it then, so I'm trying to remember stuff from it and all. Also, 9 episodes of Home Movies more or less in a row can be hard to comment on after a while! Yikes, time for more!

SYNOPSIS: Brendon struggles with his history class, dedicating most of his time (and this episode) to his Star Boy movie.

People either loved this episode or hated it! YOU EITHER LOVE IT OR HATE IT! It's just like that! It's one of those things! I'm more in the love it camp, I guess. If an episode has a normal ratio of "real-life" story and Brendon's goofball movies, this episode pretty much flips that ratio the other way! Man, I'm literally just regurgitating toonzone synopsis at this point. Way to not bring anything new to the table, me.

But anyway, this is a very funny episode. It has that great scene where McGurk and Brendon fight because McGurk feels betrayed by Brendon seeking tutoring outside of McGurk. I like this episode a lot, and I will now promise everyone, I will no longer let 24 hours pass between viewing and writing about an episode of anything. It was irresponsible. But lets face it, most of this write-up would be me saying "remember this part? It was funny!" But to be honest, I was having trouble even making MENTAL notes of things to talk about when this was playing. I just ENJOYED THE RIDE. And this episode is extremely easy to do that with. There, that's insight! IT'S SO GOOD IT MAKES FOR A POORLY WRITTEN REVIEW! Next!

Second-run Showcase! Featuring:
A Day in the Life of Ranger Smith (March 10, 2002 - 11:00 PM)
Boo Boo Runs Wild (March 10, 2002 - 11:15 PM)
Father and Son (March 10, 2002 - 11:45 PM)

SYNOPSIS: John K re-imagines a bunch of old cartoons with his bullshit.

I remember the John K Yogi Bear Specials best. They were publicized pretty well. I remember catching a re-airing of the Ranger Smith one on Cartoon Network, but I think they were using it as filler, because they cut it short. But it was a great place to stop it: Ranger Smith is in bed, looking at the spooky trees. He says something about how terrified he is (also suggesting that this happens to him every night). And then it ended with the goofy title card all "THE END". When I saw it again on Adult Swim I was disappointed that it actually was meant to go on longer than that.

I think the John K specials fall into the category of wanting to like them more than you actually do. They are fun to look at, but they are too long. I know John K thinks the only funny stuff that should be in animation is the animation itself, and the only people allowed to write jokes are animators. But I like jokes. I don't remember the Father and Son Jetsons shorts so well, except they were really early flash animations that looked pretty terrible. They were originally made for the internet, back when it was tough as hell to watch stuff like that online. All 12 frames per second and shit. Fucking terrible.

SYNOPSIS: Brendon has writers block as the upcoming writers fair looms in the distance. McGuirk is studied for sleep deprevation.

Speaking of writers block, haha. This is the episode where McGurk's chest banana tattoo just plain disappeared, I guess because he had to have his shirt off for most of his screen time (this is the one where he has to get tested for insomnia). When I watch stuff like that I usually try to fill in the blanks with some weird explanation to make sense of the continuity error. When I was watching this, it was that McGurk's banana mascot tattoo was a temporary tattoo that he either didn't realize was temporary and it washed off long ago, or he intentionally reapplied it to deceive people through season 1.

In this episode he's hoping to get enough money for a DVD player, which apparently costs 300 dollars in 2002. Is that really right? I could've sworn I was on my THIRD DVD player in 2002, and I definitely wouldn't be if that were the case. Man, do you remember how awesome it was owning a DVD player? It was such a new experience! I remember RENTING a DVD player and getting GHOSTBUSTERS on DVD and it was the most impressive thing around! I wish I still felt that way about DVDs, or that I could feel that excited about Blu-ray. So anyway, the rest of this episode feels like it came about because the writers had writers block and decided to just do an episode about that, and it actually came out funny and not desperate. Okay that’s it.

Second-run Showcase!
Night of the Living Doo (March 17, 2002 - 11:00 PM)

SYNOPSIS: A send-up of the old Scooby Doo Movies series.

Night of the Living Doo aired on regular Cartoon Network the year before on Halloween, and the thing I remember most about it being on adult swim was they actually cut stuff out of it. I was a big fag for David Cross at the time, and got into a fight with somebody on the ASMB (at the time was the PREMEIRE fan-run message board dedicated to running Adult Swim, which still runs strong as a small, tightly-knit community) about somebody else's ill-informed opinion on him stinking. Now I have a non-ill-informed opinion on him that he kinda does stink. Well, maybe stink is the wrong word. He’s over-rated. He can be very funny, don't get me wrong. But he gets unfairly treated as a comedy god. I think he’d even agree with me on that. Right? Right.

Anyway, the fight I got into was really ridiculous. The other person made a point that David Cross’s humor wasn’t funny, and used this (a very specificly-written Scooby Doo parody where he played himself in animated form, but was mostly just playing the role of a shoe-horned-in celebrity stuck into a Scooby Doo cartoon), his episode of Space Ghost (an afternoon he spent dicking around for an animated talk-show host), and his appearances in the Men and Black movies (acting work). He hadn’t seen any of his stand-up or Mr. Show, so it was a completely ignorant opinion. I mean I called David Cross over-rated just a paragraph ago, but he’s earned respect for Mr. Show alone (look at me back-peddle, sheesh). This nameless message board poster’s reason for not watching Mr. Show: “I don’t watch puppet shows.” The moderator locked the thread. The last word of the fight went to him: I was an idiot for not realizing he was joking about calling Mr. Show a puppet show.

SYNOPSIS: Brendon and his dad start a pizza club, and McGuirk becomes jealous. And other stuff.

Dam Pizza Club is a good idea. This episode mostly made me wish I was at a pizza joint with some pals. This is another one of those episodes where none of the stories are particularly strong. You got McGurk being jealous of Brendon's pizza club. You got mom wanting to be in the movies. You got Brendon pining for that no good cunt Cynthia. You got Duane in the battle of the bands. You got Jason and Melissa just sitting around like goobers. Maybe there's too much going on for any one story to be a real winner? Watching this I realized I remembered all these stories, but couldn't for the life of me remember that they all went together. Not a bad episode, just kind of a middling episode! Maybe if I watched it with some pizza I'd like it (pizza watch out I'm comin to getcha!!!!) (haha I'd keep picking up slices when dudes were eating it on screen and point to it all "LOOK THATS YOU ON SCREEN LOOOOOOOOK").

I think a lot of people liked this at first, and then they kinda shied off it after repeat viewings. There's definitely things you could critique about it. It doesn't seem that inspired. Like Loren Bouchard had a development deal and had to spend the money somehow. But gosh darn it, there's something about this that is charming. It's pretty lazy and slow-paced. There is some gross blood-shed stuff (A recurring gag is that people injure themselves intentionally to get the attention of Sarah Silverman the lady cowboy doctor) that ironically has nothing to do with fighty-type violence. All the fighting stuff is tame as heck. I don't like comedy bloodshed that has to do with not fighting. It's too gross! YUCKY! Anyway there are some good homies in this (why did I use the word HOMIES?) and it's an okay thing that you wanna like more than you actually like it. Maybe it could've been something! It made me think though; it would've been neat to force Loren Bouchard to do an anthology series with the same cast, effectively creating 10 pilots or something. Then maybe we'd not have a certain show he created that stinks. But anyway, LETS MOVE ON.

SYNOPSIS: Brendon's dad gets re-married.

Man am I glad this is my last Home Movies I have to do for a while. Not that I'm down on Home Movies, I'm down on writing about it. I generally think Home Movies got better as it went along. But watching it knowing you're gonna have to try to come up with something to say about it is exhausting. Home Movies does a great job at just simulating life going on with these characters. It's not a SHOWY show. Man there's no background music unless its part of the scene or it's a silly montage or something. I never really thought about that fact! Things escalate like they do in sitcoms, but it's still believable. Uh, as for this episode, I should say something specific right? This has things going wrong and things going right. Paula gets her job back like magic. Paula tries to ruin her ex-husband's Wedding. It has the classic scenes of McGurk chickening out from getting his dick wet, and the wonderful scene where Brendon is being talked down from inside the bathroom and Jason identifying himself more than he needs to. A great episode!

ADDENDUM: I would like to say I was incredibly off-base with my observation about Home Movies not having background music. I was trying hard to make a point, when I really didn't have anything in mind. First of all, THERE IS background music. It's not uncommon for the opening and closing of the show to have music as it fades in and out to and from credits. Also, there's music during scene transitions and establishing shots and at the act break on a regular basis. This is basically how every sitcom on earth uses music. I could've made the point that it doesn't properly SCORE its scenes, but more or less the only cartoon or even sitcom in the world that does that is “The Simpsons” and even that is sort of a reach. So it's a stupid point to make. I feel ashamed. I really am a stupid prick.

The Lewis Lectures (March 31, 2002 - 11:00 PM)

SYNOPSIS: An ugly fat dog tells other dogs how to be gross.

So this thing was the last special to air during the "March Specials" thing adult swim was doing (which to further explain, was… Oh, I guess it explains itself. Never mind). I've been told this was a short that was made for festivals or something and that Adult Swim just picked it up just to be assholes. This isn't good. It's a fat ugly dog destroying things and bragging about it. It's Beethoven without Charles Grodin. You have a sassy Laura Kightlinger dog being a real Garfield but that's the closest you get to this having it’s own Grodin. Man this thing is so ugly to look at. Jack Black adds absolutely nothing to this (not that I'm a huge fan of his, but it IS a total waste of his "talents."). The only good part is when the dog drags the couch over to the fridge. THAT is a great idea for a dog to do. I wish I was a dog just so I could do it. But other than that, forget it.

Commercial: 1-800-CALL-ATT (Aqua Teen Hunger Force) (April 6, 2002 - 11:15ish PM)

This debuted during the first commercial break for "Yu Yu Hakusho." Shake tries to convince everyone that he's Carrot Top by putting on a wig. Frylock tells him it's not a good ruse. Shake accuses Frylock of trying to one-up him, since he actually has vegetables for hair. A not-bad commercial. It's not an explicit endorsement, and the characters are still pretty true to their show-selves. But this signals the era of Adult Swim tie-ins with sponsors. A bunch of commercials debuted around this time with Adult Swim characters championing different products. I will keep track of them best I can if nothing else but for posterity's sake! Donny seemed to get most, if not all of these on tape.

SYNOPSIS: A couple of shitheads from Pluto bent on world domination target the Aqua Teens for some reason.

Dr. Weird shows us his d*ck and kicks off the start of a beautiful relationship of not having anything to do with the main plot! This episode is all about some new aliens in town, the PLUTONIANS, currently staring in Spacecataz's third (AND FINAL) season (f*ck you fox why did you cancel it so soon). I remember mostly being distracted by Andy Merril's voice because it was just too Brak-ish for me! But now that I've had some quality hang time with the big orange cluck it's no sweat at all, I can just listen for ever and ever and hopefully not ever die during it.

I never appreciated this episode so much until I saw it on TV a few months back. I remember thinking "dam this is good." It's got a pizza background (ADULT SWIM: maybe program a night where every episode has something to do with pizza!! I'll keep track for you which episodes have pizza in them!). It's got Carl gettin' mad. It's got outer space. It's got a party button. If you want to see it all, see it in this episode and watch the episode! You'll love it!

SYNOPSIS: Sealab dudes are stuck in a closet.

So if there's one thing I will take credit for in terms of being ahead of my time when it comes to popular opinion re: an adult swim show it's noticing the downfall of Sealab 2021. Even today people say Sealab 2021 started sucking when Capt. Murphy died (Harry Goz, but typically people refer to "Capt. Murphy" dying instead of the actor). I say it started getting rotten with this episode. See, when I watched the first ten episodes of this show for this review project, I had a hard time being objective because I'd seen all the episodes way too many times, and loved them way too many times. From here on out, that is very much not the case. The reason for that is these episodes mostly blew. I didn't give them the re-watch treatment the first ten got. There's not a single laugh to be found in this entire episode, except the pointless reference at the end to WHAT I THOUGHT was the "Atomic Dog" video, but after re-watching THAT, it turns out it's some other bullshit (I'm talking about that dancing dog amongst the sea of dogs chasing Stormy). They could've easily thrown in a reference to that video in there! So even that joke that I liked I liked on false pretenses.

This episode features a lot of ugly laugh-less violence that leads to the character's faces having ugly black eyes on their faces for most of the episode, and then at the end they get self-referential with the "Do you want the Mustache on or Off?" scene with bucket-head Wendy, officially beginning Sealab's grand tradition of being self-referential without really earning the right to do so. Sealab how dare you you are dead to me!

Commercial: 1-800-CALL-ATT (Space Ghost Coast to Coast) (April 7, 2002)

In this commercial, Carrot Top is supposed to be on Space Ghost's show, but an actual carrot's top appears instead. Zorak yells at Space Ghost for being so stupid. It doesn't get simpler than that, does it?

SYNOPSIS: Brak wants to get boned and is given a false nose.

Welcome to the start of Brak Show stopping doing the different-title-every-episode gag! Hey there's some genuinely funny stuff in here! I remember being confused though because there's a narrator in this episode and you think "uh oh is this gonna be a thing from now on" but of course it isn't for reasons that are sort of a spoiler (by “spoiler” I really mean I just don't wanna spend time explaining it). In the beginning Brak watches a sexy show about a Detective that gets it on all the time and the lady in the show is all "I don't think I can kiss any more!" and he says "Think again, dude!" George Lowe does a stoner voice! Brak wears a nose and tries to pick up chicks, and Huckleberry Hound shows up and only talks in woofs. I remember this episode stinking but I really found it totally fun and enjoyable! At my next birthday I have (god willing) I will put it on for everyone to watch and make them watch it, and they'll have to because it's MY birthday.

SYNOPSIS: A glob of mold is super nice, and Shake is a jerk.

Maybe the best episode up until this point! Ol' Drippy is a super-nice self-less dude and Shake is a jerk all the time at him. Shake gets thrown out of his house and tries to live under couch cushions in a classic A+ scene. Carl breaks through as a semi-likable character; he shows his appreciation for Ol' Drippy and is able to hang out peacefully with the non-shake Aqua Teens. Man I love this episode. I just love how everyone interacts with each other! I could watch them go on like this for hours! That makes me think the Aqua Teen Hunger Movie should've been just a two-hour long version of this episode! Like the kids at Mickie D's (MacDonalds) say, "hey, it could happen!"

SYNOPSIS: A little dude out-bullies Zorak, taking over his bully empire.

I have a very distinct memory when it comes to this episode. I used to watch Adult Swim and get on AIM with Brandon Arrends aka WRECKREATION on internet and we'd watch it together. Before it came on he'd say "get your swim trunks on!" followed by the smiley with the cool dude sunglasses! This episode brings up a specific memory of that. Before this episode started, Brandon said, "Brak's always good!" And then this episode played and it wasn't so good! But actually, there's some fun stuff in this that makes it worthwhile. Butchie is a good character, even though it's basically Dr. Worm from Kentucky Nightmare with a jetpack. Uh, there's other stuff that's fun. Clarence, he's there for the first time… okay this episode isn't so good. But there's something really watchable about the Brak Show I can't quite explain. I just find it fun to look at; it's a nice break from what you typically find on Adult Swim now. It's gentle!

SYNOPSIS: The Sealab crew takes drugs.

Another episode of Sealab that sucks! Actually this episode isn't that terrible. The crew of Sealab gets addicted to pills that Sparks pushes on them. Really all it is is a slightly comic version of actual drug addiction. I guess that makes it satire I guess. But basically starting with this season, I judge Sealab on a scale of terribleness rather than goodness. These are scales that are pretty much the same, just going in a different direction. I'll be approaching every episode from the viewpoint of negativity. If this were an episode from 2001 I bet I'd talk about it in a much more flowery way. It's not fair. Sorry!

So anyway, there is one pretty good scene in this, where Sparks rants about how people should be the ones who test things instead of animals to Dr. Quinn. It's actually kind of a cool, thoughtful moment, even if it's not the most original thought in the world. But since this is Sealab there's a chance it's just taken word-for-word from a movie and it's simply a reference I don't get. Man, is my negativity towards this episode bullshit? I think it might be. To be honest, I think I kind of liked it. Okay, this is a "win" for Sealab. But not by a lot. Fuck!

SYNOPSIS: The mooninites come back and are assholes again.

The Mooninites are back and they are better than ever in this better than ever edition of Aqua Teen Hunger Force! In this episode the Mooninites use mischief religion lies to great success, telling fibs about being devout. The Mooninites rob a carnival and get a Foreigner belt with magic in it and they freeze Carl and steal his porn and his dresser and get Meatwad to burn it in the forest, starting a big fire This one has a great thing I never really noticed was the carnival game is a hilarious hoot it's farm animals but in the middle of it is a Cobra, a great joke, just pause it, we'll wait! It's so funny they should've made it so the episode pauses on the game automatically SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO YOURSELF. I can't tell if this is better than the other Moon-Unit episode, I haven't seen this one in a really long time so it gets an unfair advantage there. How about I don't rank them? These episodes are like my children and you can't rank your children unless you poll 100 people in your neighborhood and I'm not willing to do that for this.

SYNOPSIS: A Larry-Sanders-esque behind-the-scenes look at the making of an episode of Sealab 2021.

This episode I never really cared for. It's not bad, it's just not good. There's things in it I like, like when Stormy says "My girlfriend's tuition isn't going to pay for itself" (That is such a good little character thing). Xander Crews Directs the Sealab dudes and everyone hates it! I also like how Dolphin Boy is played by twins, that's a very good spoof of Hollywood situations. There are a few times in the run of Sealab where I think to myself "it would've been nice if that was the last episode of Sealab." This isn't the first instance of that really, but in retrospect it is now. And also maybe 3 minutes into it it would've been nice if that were the end of the episode.

SYNOPSIS: Brak doesn't want to disect a clam at school.

This is the episode where Brak doesn't wanna cut a clam (which is also a good innuendo for queefing) so he makes a deal with the stars and some dudes show up and don't grant his wish. A bunch of other goofballism happens and other stuff. This episode seems like it tried really hard to be a satisfying experience but it just isn't. Sorry Brak and Homer-man but you just fell short on your face with this one. Nothing of note just a way to pass the time you might as well have spent 11 minutes sitting on the porch wiping some brows and talking bad about blacks.

SYNOPSIS: Captain Murphy declares "Martian Law" which includes mob mentality and clubbings.

Something I keep thinking and not saying is every time I watch Sealab I almost always remember the scene that was used in the promo for it. The reason I keep not saying it? Because that's it. I have no other observations than that. The scene passes by and I say "oh that was in the promo!" to myself and I move on. Pretty NOT interesting, huh? Speaking of "Huh" there's a good line in the beginning of this episode, where Sparks is all "Huh?" and then Capt Murphy is all "What do you mean 'what?'"

I remember liking this episode a lot. I like the idea of how creepy a situation it is for evil to just suddenly take over in a dangerous way. I mean how a dude can just turn into an evil dude all the sudden! It's like Hitchcock's film "Those Birds," where the birds become antagonistic for no reason. Scary! So in this episode Capt. Murphy goes nuts and declares "Martian Law" and makes up rules and starts ordering people be clubbed. More ugly Sealab violence happens, but in this episode it actually goes somewhere somewhat surprising and funny. I guess I still like this episode. It sticks in my craw slightly that it isn't in the Season 1 DVD set, because it actually aired along with In the Closet and Stimutacs and Swimming in Oblivion. It's good enough to be on there, the best set Sealab that money can buy, Season 1 DVD in stores this spring.

SYNOPSIS: A creator's commentary of Space Ghost episode "Mommentary"

Man I remember the subversive thrill I got when the schedule came out and there were two new Mommentaries playing on the same night. Just because I knew how mad people would be! This commentary is pretty low-key but there are some fantastic moments, like the story about Meatwad interrupting Toonami, and this was also the first mention of Space Ghost being on DVD (though it was most definitely a joke, some people took it seriously as if they weren't talking about the "Kentucky Nightmare" DVD). I really don't have much to say except I wish the Space Ghost dudes were more "into" commentary. Sometimes funny people just don't see the use of doing commentary on stuff and can only stand to do so much. I don't even care if they do actual commentary; I just wish they were having more fun recording their own voices enough to the point where they did it more. They are funny dudes, but you sometimes get the vibe that they are searching for purpose once they get in front of the commentary microphone. Loosen up guys have some fun maybe tell some knock knock jokes to break the ice lets do it!

SYNOPSIS: A second creator's commentary of Space Ghost episode "Mommentary"

This is the second version of their commentary where they are mostly toasted! They bang stuff around, and Dave Willis (I think) lays it out on the line with his rant about how "It's all a big joke that somebody is going to be transcribing this!" I still visit that episode at snard.com to see if it actually ever gets transcribed. As of about a week ago, it still isn't. Anyway, a note about the times I have listed for these episodes. The best I could tell, the schedule for this night had Space Ghosts playing like this: "Mommentary: Creator's Commentary" at midnight, "Kentucky Nightmare" at 12:15 AM, This episode at 12:30 AM, and then Switcheroo (episode #26) at 12:45 AM. Why not show the original Mommentary somewhere in there? Maybe I'm wrong with this schedule. I pieced it together best I could from toonzone. I know they are talking out of their ass most of the time, but I figured I could trust them to at least accurately recount things AFTER they just watched them, and the review threads on their dumb board mentioned Switcheroo being on. So there's that.

SYNOPSIS: Carl and Meatwad fall under a rapper's subliminal spell, which brings the Aqua Teens to a mysterious warehouse.

I never particularly liked MC Pee Pants too much, but I'm finding the episodes of Aqua Teens that I used to not care for hold up much better than most of the old Adult Swim shows. The interactions between Shake and Meatwad are great in this (Shake mockingly calling Meatwad's Elvis costume adorable and all). I am also a sucker for when Carl gets chummy with Meatwad. Like Carl doesn't really like Meatwad but can stand hanging out with him every now and again because he's just a little guy. I like to think the dynamic between Carl and the Aqua Teens is the same of that of a racist and a black family with a smart dad, a shithead son, and an adorable impressionable precocious kid that the racist can't help but take a little shining to from time to time. I like to think this because I'm creepy and weird.

Back to the episode, Meatwad says "I don't wanna get hit with a guitar neck, I'm pretty young" in this, make sure you pause it on that line so you can hear it better! Anyway, I was intending on talking about how much I don't care for MC Chris' music, but after watching this episode it's just not in me. This is a fine episode, and he didn't ruin it for me.

SYNOPSIS: A young 20-something has to let his younger brother live with him in his hip apartment in the city when their parents move out of state.

Mission Hill aired for 13 consecutive weeks at midnight, except the last two episodes which aired at 11:00 instead. There were a bunch of episodes that aired for the first time in America on Adult Swim. These all aired in their proper production order. Mission Hill still gets a shitload of off-and-on play on Adult Swim.

Mission Hill is a great show, and listening to the creator's lofty plans for the series makes me sad. The fact that they knew what would happen in season 10 makes the fact this show was cancelled after half a season aired is pretty tragic. Doesn't Adult Swim have the money in their budget by now to pick this show up and put it back into production? I wonder if that's even a possibility at this point with all the people involved. Or if this show even does that well. I guess the bus for that ever happening has passed long ago. I kinda do wish I was reviewing all these, because looking at the schedule, while Mission Hill aired there wasn’t much going on on Adult Swim. I remember people not being too impressed with the pilot episode, but most came around to it after a few episodes. It’s a good show, guys.

This re-aired. Why am I pointing that out? Because it aired with the Spanish and English audio channels mixed up, so the audio was a garbled mess. I know because I decided it would be nice to be an Adult Swim completeist and get this special, and I recorded it, and THAT happened. And I don't think they ever aired this again! At least if they did, I never tried to record it. I do actually wish I kept it. It would be slightly valuable to have a nice clean copy of the video, now that I have the technical know-how to simply splice in the audio from the youtube version. Oh well, hindsight is 20-20. hindsight is 20-20 I say as I think to myself "I could've owned the DOG DESTROYS THINGS FOR SEVEN MINUTES WHILE THE VOICE OF AN OVERATED COMEDY ACTOR COMES OUT OF IT SHOW." Jesus Christ, I'm such an idiot.

SYNOPSIS: Dad is determined to win the neighborhood presidency, which has been held for many terms by a beloved but powerful space-monster.

So there’s a part with dad's campaign ad and there's pops and scratches on the thing as if it were shot on film 80 years ago. But the pops in the audio make the same sound my wireless headphones do when they are running out of juice and need to be recharged. It was v. distragting! There is one good thing about this episode and it's the part when Brak and Dad take turns making horn noises with their mouths. The rest is so-so. But I for some reason fell in love with the idea that a neighborhood association president could run ads on TV, the suggestion being that basically there was such a thing as a television broadcasting only to one neighborhood. That should exist. Every neighborhood should have their own TV station/channel. And most of it would just be people showing w/e movies they want on it cuz nobody else is doing anything with it. It'd basically be a video juke box, though it WOULD have the ability to broadcast live public-access like programming. And the FCC wouldn't bother with it. There's too many of them to keep tabs on! People should just do this now that it's all going digital and just use the old over-the-air frequencies. A good idea had by me. You're welcome!

Commercial: Maxim Hair Color for Men (Sealab 2021) (June 15, 2002)

It took me a while to "get" this ad. Basically at the time, there were a bunch of these Maxim Hair Color ads where a dude uses the maxim hair color dye and ladies become mindless hormone-fueled fuck machines around them. This is a concept that remains on one in every four ads that currently airs on Adult Swim. I remember one particular ad where a dude goes to try and get a promotion from his boss, who is a sexy lady, and upon sitting in front of her she leaps across the desk and straddles his d*ck. This was not done with any humor, if I remember correctly. It was all very sexy and slow-motiony. But anyway, here's where my mind went when I first saw this commercial: Captain Murphy is fucking food. When he goes to see his hot food date, he discovers another food item has swooped in and taken the original food item. I couldn't make heads or tails of which food item was the object of Murphy's affections and which was the home-wrecker. But that's where my mind went. So I always kind of thought the punch line of the dolphin was kinda lame. Because a CONSENTUAL dolphin vagina has gotta be better than fucking a burrito, right? Hey, why don't you WATCH IT?

Commercial: Adult Swim Lifetime Happiness Sweepstakes (Master Shake Air Freshener) (June 15, 2002)

I do not remember this commercial. I wouldn't even mention it really, but it's a nice historical artifact for their first big on-air contest. It turns out there was like 5000 winners or something, right? Well, I was one of them! You wrote to them or did whatever and you could win a Master Shake air-freshener. And I got it! As a person who has trouble identifying my own car when I'm in a parking lot, I found it very functional. Peering into the windshield and seeing the Master Shake air freshener gave me all the confidence in the world to say to myself "this is MY car." I also remember having to hang it up in my garage for a day because apparently the smell was too strong and it would make the air in your car a toxic vanilla unbreathable mess. I took great pride when people would comment on it, and asked me where I got it. "I won it way back in 2002!" I'd answer, in 2004.

The air-freshener did not survive, I'm sad to say. One day I flipped out for a reason I can't even remember and was punching my dash, and in my fit of rage I accidentally smacked down the air-freshener. It was brittle from sitting in the sun for so many years and it broke into 3 pieces. I've always wanted to replace it, but even the version they made to just sell in their store is kinda hard to find (and it's different - shake is smiling instead of frowning). So fuck all that, I guess.

Commercial: Power Puff Girls Movie (Brak #1) (June 29, 2002)
Commercial: Power Puff Girls Movie (Brak #2) (June 29, 2002)
Commercial: Power Puff Girls Movie (Brak #3) (June 30, 2002)
Commercial: Power Puff Girls Movie (Space Ghost) (June 30, 2002)
Commercial: Power Puff Girls Movie (Brak #4) (July 1, 2002)

I never got to see these really! Back when I was an incessant recorder of Adult Swim I'd always see one and then get mad that I wasn't taping it. Some of them are on youtube. Donny got some. Are they on the DVD for the movie? These are the ones I know of existing. Maybe there were more? Some of these aired during the day, not on adult swim. I don't have much to say about them. Why don't I show you some? 2 Brak Promos, one from June 30th | Space Ghost Promo

Commercial: Nestea Cool Iced Tea (Brak) (July 6, 2002)
Commercial: Nestea Cool Iced Tea (Space Ghost) (July 6, 2002)

Donny missed these. I think I had these at one point, but they are lost to time forever. I can't even find them on youtube. The Brak one I know I had on my Brak Show tape that wound up with old-time friend-of-the-museum Dirksen. Basically this disgusting snowman with BONES in him would melt and then drink Nestea to get his snow back in a series of commercials. He did it in Brak's house and live on Space Ghost Coast to Coast. It grossed everyone out too much luckily and Nestea is now in jail for being gross.

SYNOPSIS: Harvey defends Shaggy. Take a fucking guess why.

So, I have a pretty clear memory of dreading this episode. This was a pretty shit-obvious premise for this show to do. So uh, Birdman stinks, and I think that's well documented at this point. It's basically a learning a tool to demonstrate the point of the old saying that every joke has already been written.

In this episode there is some fake police footage. It's slightly too slick-looking, they should've put in some extra effort to make it look like garbage. They do a better job than most comedy shows though, but I really hate it when people don't pay attention to detail in that department. I guess Tim and Eric would've helped out if they weren't busy making GATORMAN 3 or whatever the fuck they were doing at this time.

Peanut makes his pointless debut in this episode. His character I guess is to be all slick and wacky. I really hate characters like that. Any character where there's no doubt in your mind that he's a COMEDY character sucks ding dong. There are two pointless cameos in this when they go to jail. George Jetson and Magilla Gorilla. They are just there. Good going, Harvey Bird-breath. A horse takes a shit in this, and Michael McKean falls in it, a perfect way to sum up his involvement with this show. This episode features also the TAB sequence, which people loved at the time. Now it comes off as a Family-Guy-esque flash back or something. Who is the guy who plays live action Birdman? He kinda drives me nuts. Yes, even though he's only acting with his MOUTH basically, he still comes off as being overly-jokey. This episode also features a cheap-shot at Scrappy-doo, who everyone hates so it's a dumb target. I remember people just saying this episode ruled because of Scrappy pointlessly showing up and then getting scooped up by Birdman's hawk or whatever. People are stupid. This sucks.

Commercial: Eight-Legged Freaks (Sealab 2021) (July 8, 2002)

Capt. Murphy enters the Control Deck to tell Sparks that "Eight Legged Freaks is the best movie staring David Arquette and Giant Mutant spiders I've ever seen!" which is followed by a short clips. It then cuts back to Sparks saying "Hey Debbie, there's a special showing of 'The Beast with Two Backs' in my Cabin and you're invited." Capt. Murphy and Sparks laugh, Debbie reacts disgustedly. I think that summary speaks for itself! (I do not want to fake insight for this commercial)

SYNOPSIS: Harvey represents Boo Boo who has been arrested for being a mad bomber known as "The Unabooboo"

So I have to preface this review with this: There was a time when I was under the impression that this was a good show. DESPITE THE PROOF IN FRONT OF ME THAT IT WASN'T. I can remember defending this episode, when everybody else really hated it. Uh, that's not gonna happen here. But at the time everybody hated the whole gay fling Harvey and Boo-Boo had. My defense was that it wasn't so much GAY as it was they were inexplicably taking on the roles of a Lifetime Movie. Does that make it good? No! It doesn't! But at the time, I thought it did.

This starts out with Peanut talking Spanglish and threatening to beat everyone up while Birdman ignores him. Why is that funny? This got me thinking, people who insist Birdman is a good show should transcribe it. Just the act of writing this garbage down should help ANYBODY realize how horrible and lazy it is. I dare you to do it and not blush! It would have the same effect that reading these write-ups out loud would have. THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES! (Note: shout that part! ITS IN CAPS)

Basically Brak sings a song about the movie being advertised and how good it looks, without getting into any specifics. Obviously they intended this to be used as a template that they could plug any movie endorsement into. This is the only one I ever saw them do it with and I don't know of any others. HEY BRAK, DID YOUR NECK BLOW A BUBBLE OR IS THAT A FART? because you stink

SYNOPSIS: Birdman represents Shoyu Weenie, a Japanese band played by by The Amazing Chan Clan, who have accused Jabberjaw and the Neptunes of musical plagerism.

Man fuck this shit. First of all, it's dealing with Asian dudes. So now you have to have subtitles and now you have to READ the terrible jokes instead of hear them. So this is full of typical Birdman terribleness. Basically, on this show, inexplicable zany character traits are assigned to different characters. They are easy things to come up with: Reducto is overly emphatic about threatening people with his shrink ray. The little kid in the Japanese group is hungry, and is seen chewing on things. Everyone is scatter-brained in some way.

But there is ONE little character moment that I liked, where Reducto's germaphobia is just hinted at when he says "I touched a PUBLIC telephone to call you!" after confronting a date that didn't show up. I don't know, it's not that funny, but when you put it next to every other garbage thing Birdman comes up with, it seems like a decent line. It oddly felt truer than anything else in the show, like it wasn't just some bullshit "running" gag they threw in arbitrarily.

Patton Oswalt has a bit where he talks about punching up bad animated movies, where the producers simply want you to add jokes that off-screen characters can yell out during the scene. This isn't exactly that, but when I watch Harvey Birdman I sometimes get a strange feeling as if this was actually animated first, and then the dialog was added in later to match up with the inexplicably wacky behavior. It's that badly written. Watch it with this in mind next time.

Baby Samson and Goliath in: "Enter the Green Hot Dog" (July 28, 2002 - 10:55ish PM)

"That Green Hot Dog smells like a paper towel." Man these things are awesome. I don't get why SOME people hated them. Honestly, even if you didn't care for them, why hate? It's a simple idea that is playing instead of a COMMERCIAL. Little kid babbling dubbing cartoons. Little kids are comedy geniuses and their natural ability to say absurd shit needs to be tapped into more often.

SYNOPSIS: Birdman represents Fred Flintstone. Because he's in the mafia, I guess.

So this is generally considered the best episode of Birdman, right? Like it was a big deal when it aired, right? Birdman kinda hitching its wagon to the Soprano's star and all? It's kinda like on USA, there was an awful sitcom about puppets that were actually aliens, and they came to life for one guy. I wish I knew what this show was called, but I just can't find it. They did a “Seinfeld” episode that got a lot of promotion. The promo I remember the bald puppet's head getting mashed into the busty babe puppet's chest, and then the bald puppet saying "I SAW NIPPLE!" It was very clever, I'm sure. This reminds me of that.

I give this episode a little credit for having the ability to be a LITTLE cinematic. But that's only because they are aping the Sopranos style. I remember getting into an argument with somebody on the ASMB over this episode. He made every effort to prove I didn't really "GET" it. I did. I got every joke. I've seen enough Flintstones (a lot, actually) and enough Sopranos (Seasons 1-3) to understand the very clever jokes they came up with. They made comparisons between the two shows and mashed up elements from each! Wow! But I wish they actually made Fred be like Tony Soprano. He's not in this. They just went with the old comedy version of a mafia boss. Making veiled threats for comedy reasons. I fucking hate that in comedy! The sketch-comedy mafia-boss. There's also some decent sound-alikes in this, including one for "Lets Dance" by David Bowie.

So anyway, what was good about this again? They aped Sopranos and made it a little more cinematic and there are good sound-alikes. 2nd best episode of the series after the pilot, I guess. And I still hate it! It could have made a funny one minute interstitial.

Another ten hours of Adult Swim in the books. This is exhausting as shit. Why don't you be a nice guy and buy some of these DVDs? Don't you know how much nicer it is to watch these on DVD instead of on endless ten hour long tapes? We get a little kickback, too. C'mon... be a pal!

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