Helpful Hints: selling your textbooks

(originally appeared in the December 4, 2002 issue of the Advance Titan)




  • You will get more money back if your books are in their original cellophane wrapping. Never remove the original wrapping from your textbooks.

  • It would be beneficial to keep some of your textbooks. You never know when a psychology 101 textbook will come in handy.

  • Sometimes the bookstore will order newer editions of a textbook and will refuse to buy back your obsolete edition. If this happens, maybe they’ll buy back your book if you offer them a bribe.

  • Selling books to the bookstore is a great source of income. Go to the library and check out as many books as you can. Sell those books to the bookstore too.

  • Make sure you read all of your books in their entirety before you sell them back for 10 percent of what you originally paid. Otherwise, what the hell was the point of buying them?

  • Them fancy book learning don’t got no place in this family. Now go clean the outhouse.

  • Don’t buy books in the first place. They cost too much. You never end up reading them and even if you can sell them back you still lose several hundred dollars. Looks like it’s too late for that now though, isn’t it?

  • So you buy a history textbook for $60 and when you try to sell it back four months later, they only give you $12 for the book? What the hell? Did history get proven wrong in the past four months?

  • Before you sell your book back to the bookstore, tear out important pages, cross out key passages with a black marker and draw hardcore pornographic pictures in all the margins of your textbooks. Trust me, this will be hilarious.

  • You are considered lucky if you get back 20 percent of what you originally paid for your books. If that isn’t the most depressing thing you’ve ever heard in your life, than your life must really suck.






The only things I have are my intellectual property and mycollection of plastic souvenir cups from Taco Bell commemorating the release of "Batman Returns."  So if you steal the former well then I might just have to kill himself.  Everything on this site is copyright Chris Becker, except for the pictures I stole and then Photoshopped the crap out of.  If for some bizarre reason you want to reprint any of  bullplop written here, or just want to send me any death threats or marriage proposals, contact Chris Becker at beckec89(at)uwosh(dot)edu.