by Nathaniel Hawthorne, author and anime fan

As You Probably Alreddy Now, Since I Have Written Lot's Of Texts And Stories And Sh*t About Being In Boston And Teh History Of Massachussetts, I Am From Massachusettes. I Mean Its Not The Best Place In The World (Like Nippon ^_~) And There Are A Whole Bunch Of Drunks And Catholics Hear (When Will People Realize That Religion Is Just STUPED) But Its Not That Bad Cus Boston Is A Pretty Big City And Has Lots Of Anime And Cosplay And Comic Conventions, And Boston Is Not That Far A Drive From Salem ^__^

But Theres Bad Things About Living in Massechussats, Manely The Fact THat It Is Baseball Season Again, And The Baseball Team That Is Here, The Red Socks, Is In The Championship Game Or Something So It's The ONLY Thing I Here About Anymore, And I HATE BASSBALL!!! >__<

I Don't Really Hate Baseball Itself, But I Hate It Cause I Live In Massachussets. Every Sunday When My Parents MAKE Me Go To Church (Come On Mom And Dennis I Don't Need Religion, It's All A Bunch Of LIES Anyway!) During Baseball Season Which They Only Go To Pray For The Red Socks To Win (Except When They Tell Me To Pray Fro That To Instead I Pray For Anime ^_^) And The Priest Always Says That People In New England Are Red Socks Fans Cus It Atones For All There Sins, And That October In New Egnland Is Basically A Second Lent.

I Don't Think Thats How That Works, And I Wrote "Young Goodman Brown" Which Is About All The Sins People Haev, So I Think I Know A Thing Or Two About That!!

Baseball Is Just SOO Boring, And The Red Sokcs Lose Every Single Year, So That Just Makes It Even More Boring! And Whenever I Do Something Wrong, Like That Time I Taped Over My Moms Boyfriends VHS Tape Of Him Appearing On Wheel Of Fortune (Who Cares He Finished Last Anyway) So I Could Record An Episode Of Fooly Cooly To Use As Part Of A Speech About Anime In School, Him And My Mom Bought Me A Red Socks Hat And Told Me I Had To Wear It ;__;

Then, When Mom Told Me That I Couldn't Watch Anime On Christmas Becus It Was Jesus's Birthday Adn He Wouldn't Approve Of The Violence And Stuff In Anime And I Said "F*ck Jesus!" (OMG I Told My Mom That It Wasnt That Bad, It Wasnt Even A Swear Cus When I Said It I Added The Asteriks In It, You Just Couldnt Tell Cause I Wasnt In A Chat Room) She Punished Me By Making Me Watch Six Hours Of Red Socks Games She Had Taped, Then Beat Me With A Belt While Screaming "Aaron F*cking Boone! I'll Kill You Aaron Boone!" (She Didn't Use An Asterisk, I Added That).

Did I Mention That I Wrote "My Kinsman, Major Molineaux"? That Is Also About Violence And Hurting People, Like Sort Of With That Belt ^__^;;

Eevn If I Did Like Baseball, I Wouldnt Like The Stupid Red Socks. They Dont Eevn Have Any Japanese Players! I Think They Haev A Korean Player Or Something, But Thats Even Worse! Theres A Good Japanese Player On The Seatle Marinaras, But I Think That Team Is Owned By Nintendo Or Something, And THat's So G*y, I Hate Nintendo They Make Stupid Kiddie Games Like Pokemon, I Only Like PS2 Thats Where All The Good RPG Games Are ^__^

But There Is Also A Good PLayer From Nippon On The Team In New York, The Yankeys. So I Think I Am Going To Be A New York Yankeys Fan, Cause That Will Make My Mom And Dennis Happy, I Mean I'll Still Be Watching Baseball I Just Won't Be Watching The STUPID Red Socks! I Think I'll Tell My Parents This On ThanksGiving, When We Go To Boston To Visit My Grandparents. I'll Be All Lik e"I Have A Special Announcement" And I'll Put On This Yankeys Hat I Bought

That Will Make Everyone So Proud ^__^ Oh Yeah Did I Mention I Wrote "Biographical Stories For Children" In 1842?