There's this one strip mall that I pass every time I go to the dentist, and while that in itself isn't remotely interesting, the individual stores inside the strip mall are. Well actually not, because the stores are mostly just generic strip mall establishments. I don't know what most of them are, but I think I can safely assume that there's a dry cleaner, some place that sells sandwiches, a pain doctor, a store that sells refurbished car alarms, a liquor store and a Dunkin Donut's, or something like that. That's just what you usually tend to see in strip malls. And also probably a store that is boarded up with a big sign in the window that says "SPACE FOR LEASE," which indicates that the tanning salon that was there wasn't able to stay competitive.

Anyway, the thing about this strip mall that is so interesting is the fact that there is a store in it that sells pornography. Actually, it's not the porno store itself that is interesting, but rather the massive sign above that store that advertises itself as "Adult Video's (sic)." Now OK, I realize that I'm sort of a huge grammar nerd; whenever I see a compound modifier that should be hyphenated and isn't I not only point it out multiple times, I make sure everybody around me also knows that said compound modifier should have been hyphenated. But it just seems to me that even somebody who dropped out of sixth grade to work at his parent’s pornography retail outlet would know enough to at least check if the apostrophe he's adding to a phrase is correct before spending a massive wad of money to have said phrase written on a huge, light-up sign.

It's not just that adding an apostrophe "s" to the end of the phrase "Adult Video" makes it just technically incorrect in the way that the only people who would care would be English teachers; it completely changes the meaning. Instead of showing consumers that the store has more than one adult video (adult videos, if you will), the apostrophe "s" makes the phrase possessive. It's like in old Looney Toons when Wile E. Coyote would launch himself into the sky with a catapult while covered in dynamite, or whatever, and his explosion would result in a big, neon burst that says "EAT AT JOE'S."

Well, "Joe's" suggests that it is a place of business owned by Joe. It's like saying "Joe's Place," except the latter half of that phrase is implied. Thus, when you see that a business is named "Joe's," it could mean "Joe's [restaurant]," "Joe's [tanning salon]" or "Joe's [adult video store]." You don't really know. All you know, is that the guy who owns it is named "Joe." Or that it was named after someone named Joe. Or whatever.

I have no idea why the proprietors of "Adult Video's" chose to opt for that alternate spelling. I suppose I could call and ask them, but if you owned Adult Video's would you like it if some nerd called and asked why you suck so much at grammar? My theory is that they looked at the word "Adult Videos" and decided that the "eos" at the end of it didn't quite look right, so they decided to just break up that sequence with an apostrophe, consequences be damned. There aren't a lot of good excuses for a mistake like this. I mean it's almost worse than misspelling adult as "adutl." At least if they did that they wouldn't have to introduce any completely new characters into the phrase.

And, as previously mentioned, this is such an unfortunate grammatical error because it changes the meaning of the store's name. It could potentially be disastrous for the owners of "Adult Video's" because there is even a conceivable way in which naming your store thusly could dissuade your target demographic from ever entering your place of business in the first place.

Let me explain: assume you are a pervert and you are out looking for some porn. I mean you're just a real disgusting, vile, shameless creep who probably wears nothing but a raincoat into an adult movie theater and probably has to go door-to-door introducing yourself when you move into a new neighborhood because of Megan’s Law. You sicken me! Anyway, let's say you pass this strip mall, and you see a sign that says "Adult Video's." Initially, you are excited! Here is a place where you can go to indulge your sick, sick addiction!

However, upon further inspection, you see that the store's name actually is a possessive noun; it does not refer to the plural form of those sweet, sweet Hustler VHS tapes that you lust for! In actuality, the store's name indicates that it is some sort of mystery establishment owned by someone whose name happens to be Adult Video. You feel betrayed, and your turn your rust-orange hatchback around to your studio apartment so that you may beat-off to a generic VHS tape made by a competitor to the "Girls Gone Wild" series that you bought for three dollars at a rummage sale.

See what I mean? Even the most repulsive, horrid, putrid lecher like yourself could tell, just by the presence of an apostrophe and an s, that this store is not a store that sells pornography, but rather it is most likely a restaurant owned by some weird foreign guy named Adult Video.

Think about it: if you were from Turkey or Syria or Lithuania or some country like that and your name is, due to pure coincidence, Adult Video (maybe your middle name is Akbhar or something, so your full name is Adult Akbhar Video-al Hajid, or whatever). If you emigrate to the United States and open a diner that sells Greek food or falafels or whatever the hell food you eat in whatever the Hell country you're from, you very well might name that diner "Adult Video's." Technically speaking, of course.