Written by ekt
We all know that most of today's young adults were raised not by flesh and blood parents, but by televisions. We are well aware of this fact not only because we ourselves are those young adults, and our long-term memories aren't quite as bad as our short-term memories; but also because every pop psychologist in the world (all of whom except for me are inept, incompetent imbeciles without an original or insightful idea in their heads, whose mediocre educations did little more than indoctrinate them with utterly useless, to the point of being counterproductive, claptrap; luckily, I never bothered ruining my own naturally sagacious intellect by pursuing any such mentally debilitating chepookery as a degree in anything) spent the better part of the 80's and 90's harping on it. And what did all that harping achieve, in the end? Well, it made some pop psychologists rich, it made some of the folks who listened to their claptrap and bought their books even stupider and more gullible than they were to begin with, it made "pop psychology" a part of the pop culture lexicon, and, perhaps most importantly, it made the kids who would become today's young adults even more jaded, cynical, and generally sarcastic, mocking, and dervisive of the world around them than they were to begin with.
Anything else? Hmmm... oh yeah, it completely missed the point. What, if you can recall, was the biggest effect all the pop psychologists were worried about? Well, if I can recall, I'll tell you. It seems to me it was two-fold. One, they worried that we'd all be desensitized to violence. So... if you see something violent on TV or in a video game, does it make you run screaming? Does it make you throw up? Does it make you afraid to leave your home? No, probably not. Should it? No, probably not. On the other hand, does it affect your reactions to witnessing or experiencing violence in reality? Would you blithely walk past a dead body on the street? Would you be blasé about being robbed at gunpoint, or being forced to watch your sister get raped? Doubtful. Secondly, they worried that the media, be it television, movies, music, video games, etc., would actually make us more likely to commit acts of violence. To emulate the entertainment or news we've seen or played, in real life. Here's a simple fact: crazy people will do crazy things; easily influenced people will be influenced. This is how it has always been, and always will be, whether we all wear headsets that show us everything that ever happens or is imagined, or whether we live in a cave with no human contact of any kind. Sane and intelligent people will relatively easily discern fantasy from reality, and be able to separate the two in the course of their daily activities.
Nothing I have just said has been original or insightful. We all know all that already, not only because we're relatively sane, intelligent people who are capable of introspection as well as simple observation of those around us; but also because every pundit, heckler, and debunker in the world spent the better part of the 80's and 90's debating every point ever made by the pop psychologists. Which brings us to the point of this dissertation, the very point to which I allued at the top of the previous paragraph: the true after-effect of the TV Generation.
It is, in fact, mind-blowingly obvious. Everyone, at some point in their lives, will rebel, to one degree or another, against their parents. This is no less true of the inorganic, inanimate, electronic parental unit that is television, than it is of the aforementioned flesh and blood givers of life. Of course, as with the more traditional form of parents, children must eventually grow up to realize that television is not perfect or all-knowing. It has flaws. It does not have all the answers. And sometimes its answers are wrong. Sometimes you will disagree with it. Sometimes you will hate it. Sometimes you will be embarrassed by it, want to disassociate yourself from it, pretend you don't know it. It is, after all, made by human beings, as are all the programs you view upon it. And human beings are flawed creatures, by their very nature.
But when you think about it, no one wants to live in a world full of perfect people. It would be boring, mundane, routine, unsurprising, predictable, constant. There'd be no fun, and no point. Why even bother having friends, if everyone is the same as everyone else? How would you even decide what to do with yourself from moment to moment, let alone with your life? If everyone could do anything, there'd be no point in choosing a career. Or a mate. Despite everyone being brilliant enough to create any invention imaginable, and ushering in a futuristic utopia tomorrow, no one would. No one would do anything, civilization would collapse, and the human race would go extinct. Besides which, in reality, you're not perfect. You're not so smart, all things considered. You don't know everything, you're not always right, and you make about 42 mistakes a day. Just like your friends. Just like any given channel on TV. Just like your biological parents. Yes, growing up happens in stages. When you're young, you think your parents know everything and they're always right. But after a little while you realize they don't know any more than you do, or at least no more than you might come to learn. But when you grow up a little more, you'll realize that's as it should be. And eventually your rebellion must come to an end, as must all good things. You'll remember you love them, you'll reconcile, you'll phone them every once in a while when you feel guilty about never phoning them. Or when you need an extra 100 or two to make next month's rent.
The same goes for television. You'll come back to it. Because you know it loves you, and deep down, you know you love it, too. Now, some people (say, your parents) might like to spend time with their parents, sit around the dinner table talking about all the mundane, mind-numbingly boring things that have happened to them each week, maybe play dominoes or some card game, or maybe retire to the living room to watch a little TV (even though they weren't raised by it, they still enjoyed it when they were kids), probably some inane piece of tripe you'd rather gnaw off your own arm than sit through. (Although if you were a little cleverer, you might just change the channel or leave the room before you tear into that flabby, sedentary flesh of yours with those dull molars and incisors which have been made jagged with neglect of proper dental hygiene, and not having been to the dentist since you got out of grade school.) Like I say, some people might want to do that. But not me. Luckily, I was raised by television. And unlike the flesh and blood kind of parents, when TV bores you, you can change the channel, or even turn it off. Or plug in a video, DVD, or video game. But it's always possible, amidst all the unwatchable dreck, that every now and then you still might actually find something good on, whether brand new or an old favorite. And when you do, that'll make it all worth while. That's why I love my parent, why I'll always love television. Sure, sometimes it'll be boring, stupid, annoying, offensive, or embarassing. Sometimes I'll hate it. That's true of anything or anyone we're lucky enough to love in life. Sometimes we'll hate them, sometimes they'll hate us. But in the end, deep down, we'll always love each other. Ahh... aren't you glad you were raised by TV? Seriously? Seriously, I feel so sorry for the preceding generations, whose parents don't come with a remote control....