Everyone That Likes Harvey Birdman is an Idiot
Something that you oughta know about this website is that the entire thing is an inside joke between maybe seven people. If you find anything on this site that you don't like, it's actually very funny and brilliant, you're just not "in on it". That said, the stuff about Harvey Birdman is completely serious. I hate that show, and so should you. If you like Birdman, you're an idiot. There's no way around this. This isn't a joke article, I'm serious. Disagreeing with this article means you are stupid. Birdman fucking blows.
Harvey Birdman is one of the worst comedy shows on TV today, and I'm including every single piece of shit on the air, from Will & Grace to Nick and Jessica's Variety Hour. Birdman is worse. It's-- seriously-- an insult to comedy. Everything about Birdman is shitty and the show offends me. It's the same generic shit humor you can find on any network sitcom, but it's carefully and painstakingly packaged to look like an "alternative humor program" that you may have heard about from HBO or the Canadian Comedy Channel. I imagine that to get this effect, the writers of Birdman sit around watching alternative comedy while taking notes, then after careful studying, they turn in a new episode of Birdman like it was their final project for sketch comedy class.
Not only is the humor on Birdman generic and stale, it's incredibly obnoxious. Every single joke jumps off the TV screen, kicks you in the balls, and yells at you "THE WRITERS AND EDITORS SPENT A LONG TIME MAKING SURE THIS SEEMED LIKE IT DIDN'T MAKE SENSE JUST LIKE THE REST OF THE WILLIAMS STREET COMEDIES, SO YOU'D BETTER LAUGH!!!!" Every single second of that show is brewed for maximum annoyance, just incredibly infuriating to anyone who watches TV for reasons besides seeing flashing lights.
I hate Birdman so much, that even when I don't watch it, and try switching back at 11:45 to watch Aqua Teen, if I even see the closing credits of Birdman, the ending theme music is just so horribly obnoxious that I pick up my TV and throw it through the wall with the rage of the Incredible Hulk (The Incredible Hulk is lame and would totally get his ass handed to him by Spider-Man, but I'm trying to make a point). If I even think about Birdman I get angry. It's such a piece of shit.
I really do think Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law is a good premise for a show, but they ruin it by using the same jokes in every episode. Having the entire cast standing in a semi-circle and laughing at the end of the episode isn't too unfunny once, but by the third time it's just fucking stupid. A bear randomly appearing once is pretty funny, if you are 40 years old and have never heard of comedy. But having it in every shot of every episode isn't. After a couple times, you see it coming and it's so obvious that they are trying desperatley to get a "running gag" going. The reason I liked the first episode of Harvey Birdman is because it actually felt like Harvey Birdman was in the same universe as Jonny Quest. Now they're doing shit like "Azul Falcone". Who cares? It's not funny. It's not that I give a shit about the original Blue Falcon, but on Birdman the old Hanna-Barbera characters are just empty vessels for gay jokes (see: Magilla Gorilla).
Bobo Adobo figured out exactly what Birdman is like: It feels like it's made by 12-year-old kids who liked Space Ghost and decided to make their own episode of Space Ghost. A 12-year-old doesn't get WHY Space Ghost is funny, they just see an old Hanna-Barbera superhero, a lot of randomness, force in some awkward pauses, and you have yourself an absurdist comedy show! The pacing on Harvey Birdman is horrible. The awkward pauses are completely forced. They can never stop to have the kind of awkward pause that actually comes from a conversation, the Birdman writers have it scripted, when the awkward pause is and how long it should be, and it's so incredibly blatant. On Coast to Coast they can pause and just have Zorak stare for a while and it would be funny, but the writers of Birdman can't pause without cutting to something, like someone making a face that screams "HEY, CHECK OUT THIS PAUSE, PRETTY AWKWARD HUH?" A lot of Space Ghost is ad-libbed, but the writers of Birdman seem to think they can capture the same tone as Space Ghost on paper in a script. I'm not claiming to know (or care about) how Birdman is made, but the poor writing is obvious.
They so desperately want to be Space Ghost, which is why they steal so much from it. For example: the phrase "attorney at law" in the title is stolen from the Lawsuit episode of Space Ghost. Yeah, you can be an asshole and say "SPACE GHOST DIDN'T INVENT THE WORDS ATTORNEY AT LAW", but you know what, Space Ghost did invent that phrase, and no one has ever said those words in that order before Space Ghost did, so fuck you. X the Eliminator was a complete ripoff of Tanzit. Even the Birdman character is ripped off from Space Ghost, because he was named Harvey way before HBAAL became a show. There was an all-Birdman episode of SGC2C back in 1997, and it kicked ass. Space Ghost was a forgotten superhero when C2C was made, but Birdman was already well-known among the Space Ghost fanbase when HBAAL was made. All of the gay jokes and swear words come off as if they're written by 12-year-olds. The saddest part is that the writers of Birdman aren't 12 years old, they have to be at least 35.
Seriously people, see through Birdman's bullshit facade. Don't watch it. Turn off the TV when it comes on, and get that shit off the air. And this isn't a joke like when I say to take anime off the air just to get anime fags riled up, I'm dead serious. Realize what a blatantly poor excuse for comedy Harvey Birdman Attorney At Law is and support a real comedy like Space Ghost Coast to Coast. There is no reason for Birdman to be producing new episodes while Space Ghost isn't even on the air in reruns. Demand something that is willing to be different and take risks, put an end to Birdman's bland derivative blatant shit. To end this article, me, this article's co-joke-writers Bobo Adobo and Admiral Tailz, and a random bear who is here for no reason will stand in a semi-circle and laugh.
