The Ashlee Simpson Show: Why???

I don't have anything against MTV. It's one of the only channels I watch, mainly because I don't have the attention span for anything more than music videos these days. So I'm not bashing MTV. Also, I normally don't care about MTV reality shows, because I have anything in the entire universe better to care about, but this time an MTV reality show has got me really irked. It's called the Ashlee Simpson Show, and I can't figure out why it exists.

Who cares about Ashlee Simpson? Do you? Have you ever thought "boy if only I could be a fly on the wall at Ashlee Simpson's house"? No. And you know what else? Not even Ashlee Simpson has thought that. No one cares about Ashlee Simpson. Now, I'm not against MTV reality shows, because they usually can be hilarious. I can understand why people would want to watch the batshit-insane P. Diddy deal with a "band" full of retarded douchebags. I can understand why people would want to watch T.J., the wild fratboy from Georgia, living in a big house in a big city with six other alternate personality-types. I can't understand why people care about Jessica Simpson, I can't understand why people care about Nick Lachey, but legally bind them both through something like "marriage" and you have yourselves a show I can get behind! But I can't figure out why anyone would say "Hey, let's film Ashlee Simpson, and put it on TV!"

Ashlee Simpson isn't famous. The biggest (only) thing on her resume is being the shitty episodes of 7th Heaven. No one watches 7th Heaven anymore, no one. I'm no TV snob, I can admit that I've enjoyed watching the escapades of those lovable Camdens back in its heyday, but now they've added so many new characters to replace the original cast members who left (even fucking Richie Rich has moved on) that I can't keep up with nor keep interest in it even if I wanted to. That's how you know a show sucks: when original cast members don't watch it anymore. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to hear that Ruthie doesn't watch 7th Heaven anymore.

So, because I like you MTV, I'm going to give you a couple of suggestions on who would be a more interesting center of a reality show than Ashlee Simpson:

See if Dustin Diamond has anything going on. Or, if you don't want to put in such effort, just take a digital camcorder and turn it on an MTV intern. I would rather watch a college student make coffee for MTV's Unit Director of Marketing than what Ashlee Simpson does in her "down time".

Though I must thank you MTV, for realizing that no one cares about Ashlee Simpson, and giving her show little to no advertising, so that I can watch such entertaining-yet-shitty shows as The Real World or Pimp My Ride without being infuriated at the thought of Ashlee Simpson having her own TV show, unlike Cartoon Network, who not only gives a block of television to the two ugliest stupidest fucking assholes in the universe, but plays commercials featuring them every fucking second of every fucking day. Just cancel Ashlee quick, no one will care.

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